Today, a friend and I were discussing nap time, and how it is often a wild and crazy time for us mothers. Children go from running/jumping/hollering/eating/drooling/crying/whining, to peaceful little souls whom you can't help but jump for joy once those little eyes are closed.
But what happens..... if that time is completely limited and just not long enough??? This, my friends, is our daily struggle.
To calm our nerves a bit, I started thinking about how COOL it would be to escape to a place where we could be WILD and CRAZY moms! And this is what I came up with......
We go to this place.... this quiet place. This place smells of fresh laundry. Not poop.
There are NO toys on the floor anywhere. You may walk in peace and far from fear of stepping on sharp objects.
All 3 meals are prepared for the day...... and you get to eat each one while it's still a comfortable temperature!
You get to shower! WHAAAAT? yes, I said it. No more vulgar aromas coming from your direction. Wash that stink away... and take longer than 5 minutes to do it. Maybe even SHAVE if you're feeling REAL wild.
Not only shower, but you get to go to the bathroom without an audience, at such place!
Now that you have eaten and showered, you can sit down and read that book/magazine/blog/etc. without it being knocked out of your hand.
How does that feel. Good? Alright... then wake up... because that my friend, is NOT the reality of a mother. It's a Mother Gone Wild! Real dangerous material we're working with, here!
Stress,
I may have posted about this before, but it's an important topic for sure. I have been feeling a lot of stress and pressure lately, myself. It's so hard to focus on the positive when you are stressed so much that you want to cry (or until you DO cry).
Just like with medicine (or pain reliever, to be more exact)... it's better to catch it early. Personally, I have a hard time catching myself before the point of falling. I let so many things happen until I can't take anymore. I promise myself that I will take frequent breaks so I wont get burnt out.... that almost never happens. Life certainly has a way of pushing you to your limits. I haven't found the magic wand to help this situation yet but I have been reading a lot about things to do and techniques lately and thought I would include them for those of you who are struggling like I am.
So here are a few things to try:
1. Take a break! If you're at work, go to the bathroom.... wash our hands, dab some water on your face. Breathe. If you're at home... lock yourself in your room for a bit. Breathe..... anywhere else? Close your eyes, breathe.
2. One thing that helps me? Dreaming. I LOVE to dream. I love to think of the possibilities in the future... I love to dream of projects we could do around the house, even if it will never happen. Sometimes just looking at a magazine or online browsing helps!
3. Take a shower. It's so funny how such a simple thing could bring so much joy.
4. Go to bed early. Give that brain of yours a break!
5. Indulge. SOmetimes, when I'm super stressed, eating a tiny piece of dark chocolate can lift my mood.
6. Spend time with friends and family. I live 4 hours away from all friends and family so I KNOW how tough it is sometimes to put life aside and have some fun, but it's NECESSARY. I did this recently and will never regret it.
7. Challenge yourself. Whether it's something like walking a mile after work, drinking 8 full glasses of water today, or just keeping yourself from crying.... when you're feeling really stressed, give yourself an obtainable goal for that day. Small and personal victories can really help the mind.
8. Resort to youtube. Sometimes, I just youtube some music that I love.... others, I will specifically look for funny videos. It works!
9. Talk to a friend. this is BY FAR my favorite "stress-easer." Normally, I find that just a simple vent about life helps me feel just a little less tense.
And finally:
10. Make someone ELSE feel better. It could be as simple as spotting someone in the store and pointing out their fabulous shoes! I usually find myself happier, if I'm making others happier.
And this, my friends, is MY very own list to help those in need. Feel free to comment below and add any that help YOU!
Don't be afraid to dream!
Dear Daughter,
Today, I have been quite emotional. I can't believe how much time has passed and what a little "lady" you've become in the past 2 1/2 years.
We had a really rough start. Our bond wasn't that great. We had a lot of complications in the "basic" baby necessities and didn't really connect until you were about one. I am not ashamed to say that although it WAS love at first sight, our bond didn't begin until much later. Breastfeeding, colic, and acid reflux were awful. The weekly weight checks with the doctor were draining. The constant feeling of failure was unbearable. I hated coming home each week and crying because you weren't gaining weight and the feeling that it was my fault. We cried together most days during your infancy. Sleep was something important to me, but not so important to you. Your cry and scream was so heart-shattering. Nothing I did seemed to help you. Every time I looked at you, I just felt as if I had failed and had no idea what I was doing, despite my many years of experience with infants.
My world definitely changed and was ROCKED on my 23rd birthday. Everything changed. My attitude changed, my perspective changed, my outlook on life... nothing in my mind remained untouched. Things were SO much harder than I ever imagined.
Today, I just look back and think, "how the heck did I ever make it through those lonely, stressful days by myself??" The truth is, I have no idea. Those days were SO tough. It makes me terrified of ever giving you a sibling.
With all that said, our bond has grown SO much in the last year and a half. You are my little mini-me. SO sassy, but so determined, so very smart, and so loving (most days). I love waking up in the morning knowing that you'll be in your room and we get to start a new day together. Although frustrating sometimes, I love that you give your dad a hard time at bedtime because you "want to see your mommy" while I'm out running. I am so proud of you and so lucky to have you in my life. I love watching you grow and seeing the things you are passionate about already. Although you drive me to want to pull out my hair most days, your smile and infectious laugh are both something to cherish. Your memory is just like your dad's but your attitude is just like mine. Although I fear for your teenage years, I know that you'll be just fine. Why? Because you're just like me already. You WILL drive people crazy... people will talk about you. Some wont like you... but that's ok. You will always have a special place in most people's hearts. You are going to be something big some day. You already are, to us. I can't imagine what great things you will accomplish in your life, but I can only hope that you will be proud of me and look up to us some day. You are EVERYTHING to us. We can't imagine a single day without you. I hope that you see our love for you when you're older.
I took a photo of you today (just as I always do)... that really captured my heart. You were holding your baby doll and "cooking" in your kitchen at the same time. I'm sure many people have pictures like this of their children in their collection... but I can't help but to think of it as such a special moment. I can only dream of the amazing nurturer you will be in the future. Whether or not you decide to be a mother some day, I know that your huge heart will shine on everyone you meet. I love watching you with your baby dolls. You are so gentle and caring with them. I can only hope that maybe it's a sign that I wasn't a terrible mother when you were a baby ;-) I know most nurturing attitudes come naturally, but I can't be certain that I didn't have anything to do with that.
Thank you for being my beautifully amazing daughter.
Do you ever just sit and think about time? It's so fast moving. Sure, while at work, time seems to creep by every day... but other days, I feel like I just woke up, and went straight back to bed.
Time flies so quickly that it's hard to remember to sit back and just take it all in. Everything is so rushed and busy... sometimes, we even take things for granted. Not just things though, people as well. Your family, your friends, your children.. even your animals at times.
Sometimes I just sit and think about all the blessings in life and how I'm so fortunate to just be able to pick up the phone and talk to most of the people I think about all day. Such a relief to know everyone and everything is alright just by a simple call/text/email/or post.
Most days I wake up and remember how lucky I am, but other days, I wake up in fear. I fear that I will lose the things most important to me. You never know when it's going to happen... or where... or why...
Knowing how fast time flies... why treat it as if there's always a tomorrow? Why not tell people TODAY how much they mean to you? Why live your life with regrets? I don't want to take people for granted.... I want people to KNOW I'm here, to KNOW I care, and to KNOW that I think about them, always.
So what are you waiting for? Have you taken a moment today to appreciate all the beautiful things life has to offer? Despite the hardships, downward spirals, etc.
SO do it... take a moment today to spread the love. Let people know you care, that you are thinking about them, that you are there for them!
Today is a beautiful gift. Embrace it!
Lately, I have been forced to do a lot of self discovery. I have thought about life, the paths I have chosen, careers, children, our life in Michigan, friends, and family. Even hobbies have risen to the occasion! Sometimes, a little relaxation and quiet time can lead to some awesome thoughts! It's rare that I have time to just sit and think, but our recent vacation provided a lot of time for that during our very lengthy road trip. I must say, I am VERY very grateful for our vacation in many ways.
One thing I have been thinking about, is how to keep myself happy. Sometimes I think things make me happy, but really, it's something else. I know that I am often crabby so lately, I have been REALLY focusing on what makes me happy. Some things that make me happy is "window" online shopping... a.k.a just LOOKING at neat things online... pinterest is great for that. Another thing is, photography. I never thought I would do it professionally and yet, I keep being pulled that way. I just love taking photos for my friends and family. I always have. It's a form of art to me and I love trying to invent different ways to do it. My family and friends make me happy so I have been trying harder to see and talk to them a little more.
I also find myself dreaming of the future... what Vera will look and act like, where we will live, what jobs we will have... and lately, we have been discussing buying an rv and literally living in it for a bit. A clutter free, rent-free life for a bit. We're big dreamers though, so we'll see where this idea takes us.
Traveling is another thing I have always loved, but am particularly fond of lately. I hope that we will always be able to travel because I LOVE being in a new environment, reflecting on the way others live, seeing natural beauty, etc.
I have reflected a lot about Brett lately. How much he loves us, how hard he words, and just how intelligent he is. I am amazed by him every single day, without a doubt. If I am upset, he is NEVER there to bring me down more. He is willing to do anything to fix it.... I can't imagine just how cranky I would be without him. He has certainly taught me a lot about emotions, feelings, the way things get you down and how you can't dwell on them, etc. So blessed to have him.
Friends. This is a big one that I have been thinking about lately. I have realized, it's not about who you talk to every day... it's about who is THERE for you, emotionally. Friendships are a relationship all on it's own. Sometimes I put more effort into them, and sometimes the other one does. In the end, it's all about who is there for you... who makes you smile... who makes your time worth it. who genuinely cares about you. I am starting to focus less on whom I speak to every day, and who is actually there... who actually cares, etc. It's refreshing! I am focusing more on me, and less on others. At least for now.
And last but not least, I reflected on the many things I am grateful for and fortunate to have and experience. I heard that the more you focus on the positives, the less attention you spend on the negatives. This seems like common sense but it can be quite the challenge. It's so hard, in the middle of a rotten day, to sit down and specifically think of the many things you are thankful for. But aren't the most important things in life worth it? I think so.
A little self reflection can really help the soul.
When is the last time you gave yourself time to just sit down and think about the important things in your life? What matters to you the most? What sort of things are you putting so much effort into, that wont really matter in the end? How can you invest your time to make your life worth it? SO much to ponder, ay? That's what vacations are for =)
How does that feel. Good? Alright... then wake up... because that my friend, is NOT the reality of a mother. It's a Mother Gone Wild! Real dangerous material we're working with, here!
