Self Esteem

Today, I was thinking a little about self esteem.  It was a topic requested by a dear friend.  I think it's a great topic to cover and I am so glad it was brought up.  A lot of people I know, including myself, suffer from low self esteem. And why not? Society and media pounds it into our heads that we're all supposed to be rocket scientists, thin, beautiful, never make any mistakes, educated, stick up for ourselves (but not TOO mean), perfect job, perfect house, perfect family.... and the list goes on.  

The pressure to be perfect in this life is overwhelming.  We're always worrying about whether we're good enough.  Are we a good enough spouse? A good enough friend? A good enough parent? A good enough child? It's never ending.  They always say to make mistakes, live and learn... but is that really reality? A lot of people thrive on the failure of others. It makes them feel better about themselves. To be honest, I am ALWAYS comparing myself to others. It's so hard not to! I just want to be the best of everything.  That, however, is impossible.  It's impossible to please everyone.  It's impossible to go through life making no mistakes.

I think that once you realize this, you're a step in the right direction.  What is it about our want to be perfect? Isn't perfect kind of...boring?  Isn't it wonderful to find that person who accepts and even sometimes LOVES your flaws? Isn't that what family is for? To accept you for the person you are and see past the imperfections?  

It's a nice thought, but it's not always the case. I know that personally, my flaws are thrown in my face a lot.  People CAN change but that doesn't mean they want to. Some people are programmed to look at the negative in life and thrive on it.  I am totally guilty of being a negative Nancy from time to time, but my main strength, is trying to find the positives in everything.  Once you put this into action, you see life change a little bit at a time.

What if we just focused on being happy with ourselves? What if we put aside all those beautiful women in magazines and on tv (considering most are air brushed anyhow), and focus on ourselves. What do YOU like about yourself? Another downfall of society is making you think you can't think of yourself as a good person because that would make you "egotistical"... or self centered. Or bragging.  What if I allow YOU to brag about yourself without judgement? What if you make a list right now about the things you like and love about yourself? What if you take that list... and focus on that rather than the negative.  Sure, it's great to want to improve on certain things in life, but for once, I want you to think of yourself as the amazing person you are.  There's a reason people love you.  There's a reason people choose to be around you and to talk to you.  Even if it's not completely consistent, you're on someone's mind.  There's a reason for that.  In life, it's so much easier to focus on the negative, especially when it's about yourself. So challenge yourself.  What do you like or love about yourself? I will share a few anonymous things.... starting with a few not so anonymous facts about myself:

-I love that I stand up for myself. I love the fact that I stand up for others and what I believe in.  I love that I have a few friends that would do ANYTHING for me any time of the day.  I love that I have people who care about me.  I love that even though I am not a perfect parent, I will never give up trying to be a great one. Not perfect, but great. I love that I am dedicated and motivated.  I love that I never give up.  I love that I care about others the way I do.

alright.... now here is a few things about other people I will anonymously write about! Guess who.... (don't really guess though)

-You are an amazing person.  There is not a single person who could ever be mad at you, including myself.  You are a wonderful father and an even more wonderful husband.  You make me laugh and smile each and every day.  You always keep your family in mind when making decisions.  You save your money like none other and are so mature about every situation.

-I love that you are an honest person.  That you are passionate. You are hard working.  You have an un-believable love for your husband and so much dedication.  You are hard on yourself but I love that you always strive to be healthier, more loving, more responsible.  I love that you are YOU, no matter what the situation is. You never try to act like someone you're not. I love that you feel comfortable enough to vent to me  even when you think you're being silly.

-I love that you are so independent.   I love that you got yourself out of a situation that you knew you couldn't be in forever. I love that you moved on.  I love that you are so smart, beautiful, and good at everything you do.  I love that you treat your animals as if they were your own children.  I love that we have stayed friends through all this.  I love that you can be someone my daughter looks up to one day. I hope that one day, we can start an animal rescue together ;-)

-I love that you are a great mom. That you make things work no matter what. I love that you are always thinking of your family first. I love that I can talk to you about anything and that you wont judge me.  I love that we can talk about the most random stuff, and still want to be around each other.  I love your dedication and love for God.

-I love that you were there for me when my grandpa died.   You made it a point to bring me a sympathy card even though you didn't quite know me much then.  I will never forget how supportive you were during that terrible time.  I love that you saw an ugly side of me one of the first times we met but still gave me a chance.  I love that you are one of the kindest people I know.  I love that you have a loud and unique laugh =]

-I love that you are so in control of your life.  I know you have had some bumps in the road but you never give up.  I love that you have stayed true to yourself through all these years.  I love that you can laugh about things like "don't poke my frog" or other randomness even many years later.  I love that we have been friends for so long and even though we don't chat often, the times we do make up for it.

-I love that you are always looking at the positives. I love that you listen to my advice and and even if you don't agree, you're still respectful.  I love the mother that you are.  I love that you are still standing upright even though people continue to knock you down consistently.

Last but not least:
-I can't believe you struggle with low self esteem. I know your past has contributed to it, but it's so hard for me to see even a single flaw in you.  You are such a great person inside and out.  I am so thankful that you joined our family.  I'm thankful for the advice you give and thankful for you listening to my ridiculousness. I am thankful you are in the same "situation" as me when it comes to working from home and encountering loneliness from time to time.

The end.

So give yourself a BIG hug. You may not always feel like it, but you are a TERRIFIC person.  I hope I  can play a part in making you all feel that way, as well.